OVERCOMING ANGER
The Bible gives us the formula for true anger management
Nothing can cause problems for you and others like a bad temper. The Bible has much to say about the dangers of anger. For instance, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” (Proverbs 22:24, 25) God’s Word also has good things to say about those who are slow to become angry. “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” (Proverbs 16:32)
Given what the Bible says about anger, how can we learn to control our tempers? God’s Word has the answer. “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19, 20)
Often, arguments escalate into fighting and violence because the other person does not really understand what we are trying to say and we do not understand fully what they are trying to say. Because of our different personalities and methods of expression, there is a natural arc of distortion when we talk to one another.
Overcoming misunderstandings and avoiding violent anger
Swift to HEAR
Listen to what the other person has to say. Try to put yourself in their situation and realize that what you hear may not be what they are really trying to tell you.
Slow to SPEAK
Don’t talk. Listen first, then be careful about what you say and how you respond. Instead of arguing your point, try to repeat to them what you think they have said. Ask them, “Is this what you meant?” This leads to conversation and clarification.
Slow to WRATH
Be slow to exhibit your temper. Never let a person cause you to lose your temper. To do this is to let them control you. Instead, you may need to walk away to cool down. Never follow someone who is trying to walk away from you. They need time to cool down and this will only escalate the argument.
The wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19, 20)
The worst thing about violent anger is that our wrath dishonors God. Jesus Christ wants to bring peace to your life. He wants to bring peace to your friendships and relationships. Anger turned OUT is violence. Anger turned IN is bitterness. Rather than keeping anger bottled up inside or letting it out in a violent tirade, we can be used of God to bring peace to a situation through following the simple formula of James 1:19,20.
Prayer:
“God, help me to control my temper by being swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath. Help me to understand that other people have a right to a different point of view than mine. Help me to understand WHAT they are trying to say, and help me to NOT press my point if it results in a violent argument. Please help me to live a life of peace and joy through Jesus Christ. Amen.”
Remember: “The best way to win an argument is to avoid one!”